What does that mean? Insomnia. I keep waking up at 2:15 am. Not 4:15 not 5:15, but 2:15. What the heck?

I’ve tried melatonin, hot teas, meditation, and a few medications not mentioned here.

What happens when I can’t sleep?  I wake up and pee, get back in bed, and lay there. Then the mind starts…. What do have to do tomorrow, did I pack my gym clothes and set up the coffee maker? Did I set up that meeting? and on and on. So I relent and turn on “meditation for sleep” on the phone and attempt to listen to it,. but only if it’s a man’s voice, women’s voices sound irritating to me at 3 am for some reason. Then I put my heated eye mask on and lay there…..tick tock tick tock……after my 5th deep breath trying to visualize a babbling brook, I give up.

I look at the clock that is now 3:15 am, and an hour lost. Did anything help? No, nada, nothing, another night getting later and later…

What next?  I get up and eat a pickle. A crisp cold super sour baby gherkin. I lay there and tasted it in its entirety…my mind focused on it. Like meditation wouldn’t you say? Deep breathing? Not needed. Progressive muscle relaxation?  Nope. Visualization?  No. Just the pure taste of something really delicious at 3 am which I  experience as taste meditation in my humble opinion.

Not sure if that’s a thing; food meditation. But what the heck, others taste wine, swirl it, then slowly slurp it to hit all the tastebuds, then close their eyes and try to isolate all the notes of the wine right?  Taste meditation. Or chocolate; close your eyes, smell it, then melt it on your tongue to taste it all throughout your mouth; another taste meditation. Well, why not a pickle? Except for me, it’s only in the middle of the night; trying to break my insomnia, calm my mind and go back to sleep once and for all.

And you know what?  The mind becomes calmer, no more thinking about stupid stuff or fantasizing about moving back to Europe. And wondering what I’m doing here and obsessing about work and working 60 hours a week when I only worked 16 in Spain…. Then within minutes of finishing my little gherkin, I fall asleep.  It’s magic.

So there you go.

Wait till I tell my doctor that pickles are better than medications for sleep. And it is natural. A little salty maybe but low calorie and easy to get. Of course, whatever size you want is your business. I like them small.

On another note, I think pickles can be used for more than one thing. Get your mind out of the gutter now.

I think it works not just for sleep; like breaking a thought pattern. Thinking too much. Obsessive thoughts or anxiety attacks.  Eating one that is especially sour, will shock your taste buds make you pucker and whatever you were thinking about is gone from the shock of the taste..  Or amid an argument with a loved one, pull out the pickle and shove it in their mouth, it stops the talking and might just illicit a smile unless your trying to stifle their talking.

If that fails you can always throw it at the person and since it’s a pickle it won’t hurt them unless it hits an eyeball and the juice burns their eyes. Not that I would know about this sort of thing since aggression with gherkins could be seen as assault, but I digress.

My therapist might think its a better idea than a cold shower to break an obsessive thought. I’ll be sure and tell her next time I see her.

So if you can’t sleep, or are in the middle of an argument, eat a pickle,.

If it’s 3 am, eat it slowly, taste it all, and swallow it sitting up, not lying down so you don’t choke. Then go back to sleep.

Enjoy my sleep remedy.

There are all kinds of meditation.

Somewhere in Texas