So, I have to have certain medications to remain un-crippled and un-blind. What does that mean? I have Rheumatoid arthritis, (RA)   Sjogren’s,  and glaucoma. And I’m a cancer survivor as icing on the cake.  I was lucky enough to make a horrific decision to marry an asshole. 18 years later I got ass cancer. Go figure. Luck follows me everywhere.

I don’t tell you this to make you feel sorry for me. I’ve run half marathon’s climbed many stair races, and completed multiple obstacle races in the last 20 years, despite the agony of post-cancer treatment and the pain of deformed joints. I was a fitness instructor for 10 years and a full-time nurse for almost 30 years. Then up and left my life to teach kids English here in Spain during a WTF moment.

How did I do it all? …..With drugs.

Not the hallucinogenic kind either.

The ones that keep me moving and slow down the inevitable crippling that RA will cause. The occasional steroid shot in my hips before traveling, and lots of Tylenol before, during, and after anything seriously physical.

The meds I take are expensive. Expensive in the US even with insurance.

But nothing like Spain. If I was in the USA with no insurance, the cost would be bankrupt worthy. But living in Spain where it’s “cheap as heck to live” as everyone says; when it comes to this medication, it’s nowhere near cheap. it 75% of my monthly living expenses.

Now people often say “Spain; the sunny country” Spain is the place of great free healthcare.”

Nothing in life is free.

Somebody pays somewhere, somehow, always.

The American pays.  Let that be a warning.

If yall read some of my early posts you know that Spain’s healthcare leaves a lot to be desired.. (see my past blogs posts “Spain no care” or “Bring your own pee cup.” Doctors (except gynos) almost never examine you. They sit behind a desk and never get up, take almost no history, and give meds without checking if your name matches said drug order or if it’s a drug banned in almost every country but Spain cause it causes aplastic anemia. That’s code for “ya gonna die if you take this shit.” But we don’t care cause no one complains, no one sues, and it’s time for my coffee break. There are no consequences for putting a patient in danger. If that’s good care, something aint right, free or not.

So much for the hypocritic oath as in “do no harm.” Oh, and they don’t use nurses or respect them. They are only for “bedside” as a doctor pointed out to me with a snicker in his voice. We won’t go there for now cause it raises my blood pressure and I don’t trust them here to save me from a stroke.

Not exactly wonderful safe care ya think? But it’s free! If you die, that free care really cost you didn’t it? But I digress. Yea for moving to another country.

Let’s get on with it: Today I spent $1025 for one month of my shots for the RA.

And people wonder why I drink.

And before you jump, yes I have health insurance – private care. But meds aint included.

Fortunately, wine and tapas are almost free, by the way. And you get wine at the hospital, now you know why; get drunk then you won’t know you are about to die or go broke.

Now when I got here I brought 6 months’ worth of shots with me then got sick so many times being around the kids, that I had to hold many shots as it lowers the immune system, so 6 months’ worth lasted 10 months. So I didn’t have to pay the high prices until 10 months in.

Turns out my regular meds: (hormones since I’m old and menopausal and bitchy as you can tell),  glaucoma drops, and a few others came to about $100 a month. Score. That’s really cheap for some five meds.

But the shots: the Enbrel 50 mg that I need weekly?

800 euros a month.  That’s about $900 US after the exchange rate. Choke on your tapa now. That cheap vino can’t make up for this.

The credit card points don’t make up for it either. I mean after 20,000  points you get one free hotel night somewhere where you can cry about being broke. And not even a high-end hotel. A shitty little two-star with no AC kinda place.

As a side note, I used my private healthcare card to the max.  Visits cost me nothing, so I used it a lot cause each visit irritated me at how little they did and how they never cared so ide go find another doctor in case the shit care was an isolated case hoping to find a doctor that acted like a real doctor and examined me..

Some might say I tapped the system so much just so I could prove a point. I mean I can seriously compare the US to Spain now. I’ve seen (with 2^nd and 3^rd opinions) about 13 different doctors 8 of them specialists) over 20 months.  Yet no one would call a pharmacist for me or take my vitals. But it’s free! Careful of what you wish for.

I saw so many doctors I was like a one-armed paperhanger I was so busy. Just kidding.

Then I went to order the shots at a pharmacy. And so the issues begin.

Each pharmacist acted as if I was asking them to order steak tar tar on the wing of an airplane. No, we can’t help you, you must go to a hospital they told me.

WTF are you a pharmacist or a bartender? Sorry, I just got confused. You’re a pharmacist, can’t you call the places the drugs come from? I added. I tried to say “manufacturer” in Spanish but figured sign language was better. But I didn’t use the sign language I wanted to in my head. I was irritated.

Turns out the pharmacies are all independent and so there is no network like Walgreens or CVS to check other locations to get the shots. And I guess the American was asking for the unheard of anyway.

So off to the local private hospital I went.

So my first order through the hospital was like fingernails scraping on a chalkboard. I had to go through the “we don’t do that, there is no public pharmacy here, you want what? Until some five people got involved to finally get it done, and the one question they don’t mess up on? Would that be cash or credit card?  I ordered two boxes that were $1900 just to avoid going through this again for at least two months. Jeesus.

Anyway, a couple months later with pushing I got a local pharmacy near my apartment to order my next box.. of course, it was a shocking request to them as well but she did try. She had to get it from a place in Madrid. It took a week. It was slightly cheaper; $800 instead of $900, for some reason.  Maybe it was the ‘pain in the ass American fee added on at the hospital.

Cash or credit card only please of course.

So there you are.

So fast forward to last month.

The pharmacy now wants a new script for every medication for EACH month.  Wtf? The script says one unit of medication, duration: six months. In any normal world that would mean 6 months of meds. One a month so that would be called refills. You are a pharmacist, not the trashman right?

“Oh no”, she says, “we want a new paper script for each month,” I said what? I need six scripts for six months? “Yes,” she says and looks at me like I’m crazy. I said, “No the doctor wrote….” She cut me off. I walked out irritated.

Now I went to my rheumatologist the next day and told him what she said. He said no, it’s not true, ‘I wrote six months, that means refills for six months” Adios, as is the medical Spanish doctor way, your four minutes is up in my office, goodbye. He wouldn’t call her either to tell her.

I go back and tell her what he says,.

She refuses again to fill my meds. She looks at her watch, it must be close to siesta time or her coffee break. Of course. The patient means nothing, and the customer means nada. You would think she might actually act like a businesswoman here, this American is about to spend almost $1000 in your pharmacy which is roughly close to the average person’s monthly salary here and you let me walk out the door. Yet I have a real prescription from a real doctor, it’s not like I’m doing anything illegal.

How many times do I say WTF in one day? I said can you call the doctor and discuss your unique ass f**ing request? I said without swear words.  She shook her head. You know if this was some real “pharmacy rule from your gov’t” wouldn’t they all be this way? Wouldn’t the doctors know about your new rules? Wouldn’t the doctor have given me six stupid separate scripts for each month? Hell no, he acted like he never heard of it.

I walked out of her pharmacy ready to drink and walked into another pharmacy, showing them my scripts, just for grins to test the “six scripts for six months rule” that the other rammed down my throat. What does she do? She fills them. WTF hallelujah. There ya go.   Although she couldn’t order the Enbrel shots as she couldn’t find them anywhere. Anywhere being relative as I’ve long since learned since living here. “Go to the hospital, for those,” she says. Ok fine. Whatever you say.

Seriously, you have to wonder though, who are these people? Beam me up Scotty I’m not in Kansas anymore. Because Im in SPAIN. What was I thinking two years ago?

No consistency

But alas that is the Spanish way. Get used to it, as one of my previous blogs reiterates.

Every pharmacist, every government appointment, every visit anywhere is not the same and up to the person in front of you to make the rules whatever they want at that moment. And they just might be about to take their siesta or coffee break. And they don’t let anything interfere with that, God be damned.

As of this writing, I just got called from the hospital. The medication is in. And it arrived in 24 hours. But the local pharmacies couldn’t help me. Get on a bus and go get it.

Oh, the good news? The person on the phone spoke English and said they overcharged me. So instead of $1025, it’s $900. Woo hoo, the silver lining emerged.

Bring your credit card for an adjustment.

Ok then.

Sucks to be me.

Tapa time.

Somewhere in Spain.