Today was a better-than-average day.

I had to go to the emergency room two days ago for a blocked salivary gland. It’s happened before thanks to my Sjogren’s disease, but not as bad. Now it’s where I can’t eat without extreme pain and it’s out of hand. There is a big lump on my right jaw.

So, at school by the end of the day, I finally told a teacher I was in pain. Im very stoic and my pain of a seven is someone else’s 9 or 10.  They were all surprised as they couldn’t tell I was in pain. Well, I can hide it well, and plus the screaming kids are a good distraction from the pain. Besides Ide been treating myself at home old-world style all week to avoid going to an ER. I’ve been massaging it, using heat pads, putting steaming hot towels inside my cheek, and even attempted to stick a sewing needle in the duct under my tongue to see if the gland would drain. Nothing worked.

So I had a teacher drop me off at the bus stop after school and went to the dreaded never-take-vital signs so-called emergency room. I asked for an interpreter but was ignored of course.

Anyway, I had Google ready with my symptoms pre-typed out and even said can you cut and drain it? in my translation. But I left out the “I tried to stick a needle in it myself already” part.

Anyway, I was in fast and the doctor acted nice, chuckled over my “cut it out request” and spoke a little English to me, score! I got a cat scan in like five minutes, another score. Turns out I have two stones in the submandibular saliva gland. A 5.8 mm and a 4.5 mm. Which for comparison is thicker than a credit card.

After labs etc, they gave me an appointment with an ENT the next day and hooked me up with intravenous antibiotics, Tylenol, and steroids.  I was out of there in about four hours. Not too bad and zero co-pays. At least that is one of the things I like here; no out-of-pocket expenses or a doctor haggling with insurance over whether they will pay for a cat scan or not.  She ordered it and it was done in like five minutes.

I took a taxi home. Easy peasy.

I took off from school the next day as I was exhausted and putting hot packs on my cheek every few hours was wearing me out. So I took a taxi to see the ENT the next day hoping he could roto rooter my gland and get the damn stones out. But 15 minutes before my 5:30 pm appt I was called while waiting only be to told that it was canceled. I was pissed. They said, “he didn’t come to work.” WTF? No other doc here? Nope “sorry” was all I got.

I’m leaving for the US for my brother’s wedding next week and I’m running out of time. Thanks for that. The minute I thought things might go according to plan they didn’t. Mercury’s retrograde too, of course.

I pushed the issue and got an appointment for Monday because the ER doc said I needed it and the guy agreed, ya think?

So I’m home massaging my jaw, drinking hot water, and wearing hot towels. Nothing is helping.

I bought cold gazpacho soup as I can drink it fast and get it down before the saliva gland kicks in. The minute it senses food in the mouth it goes in overdrive and swells the gland. It feels like a stab in the neck as there is no place for the saliva to go except to back up. Ouch in more ways than one.

So today is Friday, I had a hair appointment to color my hair so I don’t look like a slob at my brother’s wedding. I went. It was great. The girl cut, colored, washed, and dried my hair. It came out fabulously. And the cost was a third of the US; $130. So that upped my mood and my aching jaw.

So I left there and got on the bus out front. I wasn’t sure which bus would get me to the other side of the city but I had time. So I rode it around Elche knowing it would eventually stop near my apartment. I just enjoyed the ride looking at the palm trees, the parks, and the people walking around. That’s living in the moment, no?  What the heck. It helped distract my pain anyway.

I went walking as I had some energy thanks to the steroids and I was starving. I stopped to pick up my boots as I had them stretch them. It cost six euros for two pairs. Sweet. I wasn’t feeling much pain as I hadn’t eaten in hours.

I stopped in a tavern known for its tapas. I was feeling so confident after a good hair cut I thought I’m gonna try and eat something soft and fast while the medications were on board.

I walked in,  it was a modestly furnished tavern, with an older portly Spanish woman behind the bar. Several tables were outside on the street as a patio. There was the typical leg of aged dried ham on the counter and the lady was slicing up some for a bocodillo. I don’t really care for the ham here but I was so hungry I wanted anything. I stepped to the glass cooler on the bar and the lady said “dime” which is “Tell me” I said “ensalada pescado” and Vino Blanco.

Before you scream, alcohol is a no-no as it can dehydrate. I KNOW.

But Ide already had seven cups of water in the past three hours and one wine with my tapa was gonna happen I decided, cause coffee con leche wasn’t going with my tapa.

Besides, I’m in Spain, my days here are numbered and this is the life I love; a tapa and a vino, watching the people, relaxing and paying almost nothing for it. Besides, the vino was cold and I needed to eat something. I was being practical.

The lady scooted over to me and poured right from the bottle at my table, plopped down a generous portion of the salad. It was creamy, with crab sticks, corn, and what looked like caviar. But not the expensive stuff. There were four small breadsticks sticking out of it. I took my tiny fork and smooshed it into the back of my throat to swallow quickly before the gland knew what was happening. I drink a swig of the wine to wash it down fast to continue to trick the gland.

Ok then. It worked. For a bit. I got three-quarters through the salad before the pain was noticeable. But the point was I got food in my stomach. And I was having wine. In Spain, alone, relaxed, and happy in a typical tapa bar. Woo hoo,  no gland was gonna stop me today.

So it’s hard to describe the feelings. I used my limited Spanish to order my drinks, pick up my boots, and use a taxi to and from the emergency room. I used Google in the ER but was able to talk with the doctor with her broken English and my poor Spanish.

Despite the brutal pain and hassle of the ED snag,  I was feeling independent, confident, and able to manage with no one’s help. So there.  

I can’t put that into words.  I only know that when I travel, especially alone, I love it when I can do things and figure stuff out without help. It is like an adrenaline rush to “just do it” whatever it is. And of course, when it works out, I must celebrate. And I do.

I turned toward the bar lady, held up my glass, and ordered: “otra vez” (another one). I yelled it gently (just like the Spanish do except softer)  and she happily poured me another. I then felt for the briefest of moments I belong here. Sometimes in my mind’s eye, I can fit in a little despite looking like the blondest person around.

My little celebration of the small things of living here. I wish I was this confident all the time. On the days I feel dependent, alone, lonely, and frustrated at my lack of communication or inability to make close friends that speak Spanish, I stay back. I hesitate. I know my body language shows weakness and fear. I hate it when I’m like that. I don’t go out, I stay in my apartment and drink alone with my own homemade “tapa.”

Today I wasn’t and didn’t. WTF, a good hair day and riding a bus to nowhere was my ticket.

I wanted another wine but knew better. I joked to myself if I drink more I’ll have to walk home. Then I remembered oh yea, I just walked here. haha.

Now I need a siesta. Because I can have one.

Today will be a nice memory of independence.

Yes to today.

Make a memory, it’s way better than a wish.

Somewhere in Spain with a blocked salivary gland.