So, I was in class today with the 5th and 6^th graders. They are roughly 12-14 years old. Now I’ve been doing this gig for over a year now and it never ceases to amaze me how the kids act or act up, shall I say. Now I was never a formal teacher before this as I was a nurse. I taught adults about geriatric diseases, dementia, and other medical things. But kids. Nope. And I never had kids.  Woe is me.

So on some days things go rather smoothly, like the days they have a test and have to be quiet. Yes, the sweet sound of silence…. I can walk around and help if a hand is raised. Peace.

Not today. Nope. I kicked myself for not taking Paracetamol before class and spiking my juice box. Well, in talking with another language auxilary about keeping kids ocupied, I learned to always have a plan B. Bring an assignment, or a crossword or anything they have to do once the main activity is over. Main thing is, if there is some minutes left to kill, use it to contain the crazyness of unsupervised animals.

So today I had just that. We were working on comparisons like changing big to bigger, or pretty to prettier. I had a worksheet with words that had to be turned into sentences using the adjectives that they had to change.

But before that….

I had made a game with 40 questions with interactive answers online in a “Bamboozle” game. Up comes 40 numbers that they must choose to see the animation with the “quiz” sentences and a multiple-choice answer. I threw in some harder words they didn’t know but met the rules as these 6th graders have a high enough English to get the gist of the questions. Plus, it was an opportunity to have them learn new words and their meanings and change the adjectives. For example expensive,  ugly, loud, wild, crazy… you see where this is going.

So it starts right out of the gate  as soon as the main teacher leaves. The kids get up joking, throwing things and are immediately out of control.  The main English teacher with me now begins screaming and slamming her stapler on the desk to get them to be quiet. I’m wincing at the sound  and  waiting for the stapler to break and fly everywhere.

They all look up and stop.

I then begin going over the words before the game.

Some of the kids know the adjectives and how to change them. Others, never look at me or the board and could care less. In fact some 60% are like that.

I start the game and say “no teams.” They will go one by one around the room instead of teams  to manage them as they won’t sit and always go crazy when I try to separate them in groups.

Off it goes. Within five minutes, and on the 2^nd question, one student is trying to answer and I see one boy to my left out of the corner of my eye doing something and laughing. A lanky dark-haired kid with a hoody. He is notorious for getting up in every class and screwing around with the others.

He’s out of his chair flinging his pencil and grabbing the kid’s chair next to him. I say sit down. Not once, but twice. They know that in English. It doesn’t stop and several kids are now out of their chairs, talking and goofing around too. I walk over to this kid and stand right behind him within inches and I wait. Suddenly the other kids see me and get quieter. He hears the others get quieter,  turns and sees me standing over him from behind. I look him straight in the eye and say quietly “sit down.” He mumbles “no entiendo” as he’s tried to do in the past thinking I don’t know Spanish and playing dumb.

I lean down and say “yes you do.” He slowly lowers his butt to the chair as slow as possible staring at the floor thinking he’s gonna get another laugh….Then I lean down right  next to his ear and say “siéntate ahora senorito! In a very serious tone. Basically its like saying “sit down now little man! like what a very angry mother would say to their little kid with a “wait till your father gets home” kind of tone) The point being “little man” for emphases, especially since he’s too old to be called that.

He glances at me and his friends and sits down like his ass is on fire. They have never heard me say anything in Spanish before. I don’t know much Spanish, but commands are rapidly being stored in my head.

I turn and say to the class, “you get up, no game,” and I motion a chopping motion of my neck.

So for the next 15 minutes it goes relatively better, but sure enough it begins again. This time another one is on top of the desk of another messing with another kid. I walk over and stand behind him with my arms crossed. He looks at me and the other kids watch. Are you done? I say. Has terminado? He gets off and sits down.

The game continues.

And then the talking starts again. This time the teacher starts screaming. They stop, barely.

It goes on until the near end of the class. I’m ready for my adult juice box and ear plugs now please. I check my watch; 10 minutes left and I’m done for the day. Please God hurry up.

I cut the game.

I hand out my worksheets; my plan B. The class gets quieter as they look at the sheets. Several immediately start working on it… those are the kids that want to learn. They are the ones that don’t act up. I start walking around to see if they are making sentences.

Two of them come to me and apparently were competitive and wanted to see who could finish it first. They both did it correctly, but one missed one thing out of the 14 sentences.   I praised them and wrote a smiley face on their papers.  They grinned and high fived each other and one said “I got more right than you” and I finished first! Competition, always.

Suddenly a few more started working after seeing the others got a smiley face.

Funny, something so simple. I kinda wished I had my USA stickers at that moment to put on their papers if they were done correctly. 13 and 14 years old. You would think a smiley meant nothing.

These kids are not dumb, but they are not routinely disciplined from what I can tell. I’m not allowed to discipline them, I’ll make that clear. But I can stop a game if I want. And I can say a command they don’t expect. And I can walk out of the class. I sure as hell am not gonna start yelling either, unless a staple part flies in my eye.

These kids need things that are active, engaging and makes them do something. Problem is, that the problem kids instigate things and the others follow.  Those kids may be too smart for their own good, or the class clown is their “role” to keep the attention on themselves. I don’t know, Im not a psychologist and I didn’t have these issues teaching patients.  

My phone dings, I’m done.

I turn, take my back pack and head to the door, my head pounding and dreaming of liquid numb juice. One girl runs up to me and hands me a piece of paper with my name written on it in lovely script and colored blue.

The girl hugs me. “I understand you.” She says.  I smile. “Hasta manana.”

Now I’m home looking up “How to engage out-of-control ESL 13 years olds in class without being driven to drink.”  A lesson plan for Hell.

Wish me luck and that the stapler doesn’t break and a staple flys in my eye.

This job has no OSHA rules for injuries.

No entiendo, my ass

Time to learn more Spanish commands without swear words.

Somewhere in Spain