First things first I got my Padron!!!!! so I have my “certificate” to take to the police station on Thanksgiving day and hopefully God willing I will get my “TIE” ID and will have my VISA extended for the year….woohoo!!!!

But on another note some thoughts of being a language auxiliary….you can tell I’m home it’s my day off and well I have a cold again….. the kids are all sniffling and well now I am too….again..

I think being here is such a challenge for me. But I like to learn new things and often I have always learned things “alone”. Being in classes with these children is interesting but also makes me happy and sad. As it reminds me of me as a child…I see many that are having a hard time learning. Or are angry, or seem to be “behind” because maybe their parents cant or won’t help them at home. I see some kids that seem to be ahead, then find out they sometimes (but not always) that they are in private English classes after school…hence sometimes the more privileged get that boost.
The teachers have such a hard time as sometimes the parents blame the teachers, when in fact maybe the child is not getting help at home and just needs a little help.. but sometimes that is because the children’s parents may already be struggling and/or working late every day or not there.  Or because the parent does not understand English they are intimidated and afraid and don’t understand the child’s “English” homework. There are many reasons and there is no cookie-cutter answer when it comes to life or raising kids or any other host of things in life…On paper of course we all wish all kids got the ideal of everything but it’s not life either… But then there are the kids that well maybe they are extra bright and seem to catch on in general no matter what is happening. I don’t really know…Im just the English language auxiliaries….But I know the teachers care and struggle and know the issues, but one teacher and 25 kids, well what can they do? only the best they can…and I know they worry and want more for the kids, wish they had more time with them, but it’s a daily challenge…
But, some children are farther behind than others… and it’s for many reasons not just their homelife, Sometimes its because the child learns slower than others or maybe they learn differently…. Maybe they need more action or tactile ways to learn, or are visual learners or more auditory learners. Or are shy and shut down in groups and do better when no more than 2 kids are in a group or even learn best alone….I can relate. I often felt out of place and never as smart as others as a child all the way through high school and learned to hide it well. I had no help at home and I sure as hell wasn’t bright enough or confident enough to ever ask for help… ever…
So I compensated by going to the library(or a corner in the playground)  during lunch to read and act like I was studying. When in fact I  was trying like hell to figure out the homework or lesson taught that day on my own without the teacher knowing I just didn’t get it. And sometimes but not always I got it so in class the next day I would not be singled out as the one that needed”extra help” or was passed over as the teacher was way too busy to stop and help me as the “faster kids were way easier” to deal with, explain something and move on. But in fact, I needed help, a lot…But no way in Hell would I want them to know.
So, at the start of every class, I watch them, all of them and what they do and how they act…
I see some kids that are sitting ready to go with their pencils in hand even if the rest of the class was in mayhem. Like “don’t look at me, I’m quiet, behaved and don’t stand out. The best way not to attract attention is to be the one teachers say “never gives me any trouble.”
I see them. In every class, the quiet ones, the reserved ones, the competitive ones, the ones that look on the verge of crying, the ones that get frustrated and put their heads down..But I also see the ones that are trying, the ones that want to help others, the sympathetic kids, who instead of doing their own work help others around them.. Like the one boy in 4th grade, who is smaller in stature than the other kids,  with a face of a mischievous angel and big eyes, with light sandy brown hair that sticks up in the middle,   who always looks at his book and the board a million times like he can’t connect what to do….Yet, he tries to help his slower classmate sitting next to him, who can’t do his math and so he does it for him…but then doesn’t seem to be able to sit still and do his own work. What is his story? He supposedly cant sit still per the teacher, but yet he can slow down long enough to help his classmate…
Or the 2nd-grade child with glasses, who catches on fast, and wants to help me when I’m in the back of the class with small groups..He’s cute as a button and helps me call the names of each child, or runs to get the child whose name didn’t hear me…He played a game with me and the first group one day, then decided he would explain in Spanish to the next group what I wanted them to do. He then pulled up his little chair like he was the monitor to help…I didn’t have the heart to tell him to go back to his seat…Smart and helpful this little one is…and he beams when I say thank you to him…what will he be when he grows up? a project manager maybe? A teacher, an engineer…
It’s endearing to me to be in this place, to be with these kids, to see how the teacher struggles to teach 25 kids all at once in 45 minutes. I’m just a tiny part of the puzzle for these kids, as they need to learn English to open their world for their own futures..But it is painful and also eye-opening to see how some can fall through the cracks despite the best efforts of the teachers….
Anyway, today I’m sitting here in my apartment wondering what I,  one person can do to help.I’m thinking of offering myself 2 x a month on my day off Fridays: to go to each class and sit in the back with a few students that need that extra help…I think it would be great fun and well, what else will I do? I’m in a small town and other than maybe starting a language exchange in the evenings…. All I do is wander and drink wine… haha just kidding, well not really…I’m thinking and looking up games to play with the kids… its a challenge is all I can say.. but what the hell I’m learning songs I forgot as a child or never learned anyway, and how to say quietly! in 2 languages, surely I can ward of Alzheimer’s? there is something here, maybe it’s my need to relate or help somehow. I don’t know….  I did become a nurse and it seems in my blood to feel needed in some way….there has to be something I can do… now if only I could figure out how to learn Spanish Ide really be ahead..hahaha