It’s Monday, Its the day for my 2nd Padron appointment! I get to the school and inform the teacher Miquel that I’ll be leaving at 1130 to talk to the town hall to get my famous Padron certificado.. I need it for my TIE appoinment which is now incedibly schedule for this Friday. I assume all will go fine as I have the packet of information from the first appointment with everything they wanted plus the 3 things I was missing. The water and electric bill from the owner and what appears to be the tax rolls on the apartment. thankfully the ownder emailed it all to me a few days ago. I’m already amazed that having the lease, my passport, my visa my work letter was not enough at the last appoitment. well, I’m thinking I’ll get it this time after all I have the checklist complete. Miquel waves me off at 11:30 I say I’ll hurry and be back pronto!

walking the mile to the town hall I get there in 9 minutes. I’m ahead of myself.. Arriving I see five or six others waiting outside the door.

A woman comes out and says something and I show her my paper of the appointment at 1200. She nods me in. Im ushered past the cubicles to a cluttered office near the end of the toom, an older pudgy man is sitting behind plexiglass at an old woodne desk. I see stacks and stacks of papers on his desk, the shelves behind him and another desk next to him. He asks for the papers and my passport. Man if there is ever a fire I thought… this place is a gonner. I try to make small talk; hacer en la obstacula carrere ayer? In crap spanish Im asking if he was in the race yesterday. He looks at me chuckles and smiles no no….I’m thinking to get on his good side it might help here…

He then starts shuffling my papers and getting on the computer.. he taps something on his phone like a claculator and I’m thinking what does he need to add up? back to the papers back to the computer.. then he says something that sounds like “original” and points to the lease. uh oh….I had the copy because on the first appt they approved it and they made the copy and handed it back to me and said “bring this” So… im shuffling through my folders and saying no it’s at the apartment but I can run and get it in 15 minutes tops I’m stumbling in Spanish… I’m calculating can I run that fast? and he shuffles more papers then says something again and I’m thinking maybe it’s ok? then more Spanish…he then starts dialing a number, I can see it looks like he is calling the owner’s name on the lease as he is holding it as he calls… the phone rings and rings… I’m thinking what’s up? is he checking to see if I really live there? what?

He hangs up and gets up mumbling “English” and returns to the office with a young man who barely speaks English but translates…

He needs the original lease he says. I say ok I can run now to… before I finish he says “and the other people that rented the apartment before you are still on the Padron for that address”. I’m like so? He says they need to come back and unregister themselves before you can register living there… What? He asks who is this on the lease? I’m like that’s me and my boyfriend. Now I’m panicked will they ask my boyfriend to be here too? is that it? Hes in Argentina! My mind starts swimming… I have to have this Padron thing before I get my TIE (ID card) and my visa runs out in December unless I have that ID… oh shit sherlock.

No, he says that’s ok, but who are the other people? I’m like what other people? “The ones still registered in the apartment”. I’m like how should I know? I just moved in two weeks ago! He nods his head and speaks to the man. Then the man asks about calling the owner to tell them they must come in and do something or have the previous renters come back and do it. Say what?

I’m still thinking what’s that have to do with me? well… per translation from the young guy; I can’t get my Padron until the previous renters get off the existing one for the address of my apartment… like this is my fault?

I give the man another # for the owner, he calls again and gets the wife of the owner and tells her what to do.. I gather it was the above information… the young man translates: “Ok I have to give you another appointment and the owners must do something or the old renters need to come in”… Now I know I’m shit out of luck today… no Padron for me today! Rejection! stamped in red on my papers again, next!…. wow… this crap was never in the list of documents on Facebook or the internet… wt??

So the young guy says “come back October 29th at 1200”.. ok, on Halloween you say? how appropriate… I’m thinking should I dress up as a ghost? after all, I can’t seem to prove I live here…

So… the checklist is getting longer,: Bring back my lease, my work contract, the utility bills that prove I’m not in a burned-out building, the tax roles, my passport, my visa, and someone else’s ex-Padron papers??

Wow……I’m thinking what next at the 3rd appointment? Will I need my blood type and proof of my sex at birth? My deceased parents’ birth certificates? My dead dog’s veterinary records from the US? What???

I walk out with my new appointment and smile.. I say gracias… as if they did me a favor.. Walking out to the sunshine I want to laugh…. I really want a drink but I have to go back to the school and finish my work day…I threw up my hands and walked back… on arrival I see Miquel, “I’m back” I say. How did it go? “it was a disaster,” I say. I need my dog’s blood type.. What? he laughed.. “Well I knew this would happen,” he says. I worked for the town hall for 15 years as a policeman, it’s always a disaster…. it usually takes three or four appointments….. Damn the obstacle race would be easier than this..

Well, let’s see what happens next… I think my friends in the US might want to make bets….will I or won’t I prove I live here……Oh, Spain Oh Spain…