So I took a trip to Turkey, Istanbul to be exact.

I chose Istanbul because it was cheaper to go there as a long stopover and since Ide had never been there I thought it would be fun. And yall know me; any chance to travel to a new place, especially someplace somewhat exotic was right up my alley.

So, since I had only three days to spend, I immediately set up a food tour, an alternative tour, a Turkish coffee-making class and the piece de resistance; a real Turkish bath.

I chose a place called Cagaloglu Hamami that was well known and listed in the book ”1000 places to go before you die.” Supposedly Oprah Winfrey had been there. Not that it matters but since she had been there service was rated as very professional and they didn’t harass you for tips as I had read from other Turkish bath places.

So after walking all day on a food tour all over the city, I headed over to it ready to relax. Several men dressed in suits were out front and immediately greeted me as I entered.

Entering the place I noted it was lovely inside with dark wood interiors greenery and a fountain trickling in the foyer. After filling out a form a young lady explained the process to me and several others waiting for their appointments. She said someone would come take us to a private changing room, then we would be escorted to a  steam room to warm up. A person would be assigned to take us from the steam room to the hot stone room where they would do the scrub down and massage. Ok cool

Let the games begin.

So a portly older woman with dark hair led me to a large soft-lit private teak changing room where there was a recliner, a desk with a mirror, a hairdryer, and a toothbrush. What was the toothbrush for? The massage shouldn’t effect my teeth.

There was a thin towel folded on the recliner, slippers, and a plastic baggy with a paper thong in it.  I quickly changed, put on the dental floss thong, wrapped myself in the thin towel, and stepped out. A woman dressed in white took my hand and led me with another woman through a stone-arched marble entranceway into a small steam sauna to rest.  I sat with several ladies and sweated on stone benches.

One by one they took us out. My assigned woman was an older Turkish woman in a black bathing suit. She led me to a larger stone-arched room with a huge, raised circular stone platform with a few ladies laying face down on the outer edges of the circle getting massages. There were marble Roman pillars in a circle around the space giving it a grand Roman palace-like feel.  

She had me sit next to a faucet coming out of a wall fountain where she poured warm water on me to rinse me off from the steam room. Then she had me follow her to the stone platform and lay my towel down and then had me lay on top of it with nothing on me except the paper thong. At first, I was hesitant as I have arthritis and the idea of laying on a marble stone platform made my joints flinch. The older I’ve gotten the less Im able to lay flat on anything hard. No pun intended.

I got down and forced my hunched shoulders to lay flat. Now I remembered why I never get massages. I hoped she wouldn’t massage me like a sport therapist make me cry in pain.

She then put on a loofah-glove and proceeded to scrub me from head to toe.  She then -turned me over and repeated it on the backside. The room and the stone platform were warm and quite comfortable despite my stiff body and I found myself semi-able to relax.

Then she had me get up and she held my hand and led me back to the wall fountain, where I sat and she poured warm water all over me again to rinse off the skin scrubbing. I appreciated being led, despite it feeling somewhat child-like holding her hand. But I was afraid Ide slip on the marble floors, and if I went down she might go down with me and that would require a really big tip. “Fat America slips in Turkish bath again.” News at 11.

She smiled at me as she poured the water and gave me her name which was Turkish and I couldn’t make it out. She then led me back and had me lay down again. This time she took a thin white pillowcase-like thing, snapped it and it blew up like a balloon full of bubbles.

She then poured it all over my body. It was mountains of warm oil-infused bubbles. Not the dry soapy bubbles we have at home in a typical bathtub that disintegrate and leave your skin dry and itchy.

She then did it again and covered my body in more bubbles with the skill of someone that must do this all day every day.  Then she began to massage me sliding the bubbly oil in long strokes all over similar to a Swedish massage. It was surreal. Like being in a cloud of bubbles that were warm and smelled of something lavender- like. I closed my eyes and finally managed to relax. Which if anyone knows me is not an easy task.  It was so warm and soft and relaxing and being encased in the softness made it feel like floating in a cloud of silkiness despite laying on a stone table. She had me turn over and repeated the same on my backside.

For about 10 —15 minutes she did the entire massage. Then she tapped my shoulder and began to pour warm water over me washing away the bubbles. I sat up and then she led me to the fountain faucet again. This time she poured warm water over my hair and washed and conditioned my hair.  When she was done she handed me a heated body towel, and also wrapped my hair in another towel. Then she led me to a small room where the teak changing rooms were and had me sit at a small round wooden table with some hot tea and Turkish sweets.

Of all the massages Ive had in my life, Ive never had this kind of thing before. It was the coolest thing I ever did 2^nd to eating a live grub in Ecuador and Ice bathing in Norway.

It was as cool as the “1000 places to go before you die” book said. It tops as one of the coolest experiences I ever did in my travels. It was worth every penny of the $60 cost.

If you ever go to Istanbul, as Nike says; “just do it.”

It’s just a paper thong.

See what a slice of heavenly bubble bathing is like.

Relax finally.

Somewhere in Turkey