Porto Portugal here we come! Not really. There is no straight line from A to B here…. Ever…. Im learning patience I really am. I haven’t mastered the siesta yet but im still hoping.

Well….Jorge and I arrived at the Alicante airport for a 6 pm 75-minute flight to Porto that goes through Madrid.. Easy peasy…..nope… we were having a beer in the terminal waiting and suddenly an email says our flight was canceled 45 minutes before take-off.  I thought ok they will get us on another plane or with a partner airline says the American in me.  

We head to the gate, no one is there, we stop and ask someone how to get to a gate agent… Ÿou go outside and come back in and go to the Iberia check-in desk” says a nice older woman at a useless help desk. 

Say what? We will have to go out completely then through security etc again? Yup. So we go out and exit past baggage claim where there is a medical desk for people coming off airplanes that must show proof of a negative covid test.  They stop us. We explain sarcastically we haven’t left the country yet we are just walking in and out for fun.. They wave us on.

We go out past people hugging real arrivals and go back upstairs to the main part of the airport. 

There is a small group already talking to Iberia…. I walk up to an older slender blond haired Spanish woman wearing a uniform.  Um, I ask what is the plan? When is the next flight?

Oh, there is none she says. What? No, the canceled flight was the only one going to Porto tonight. Ok well, what about your partner airlines? There 4 other carriers here. Oh, we don’t partner with anyone she chirps.

What? Then she says your options are: here it comes; 

Take a bus to Madrid (5 hours from here) and we will put you in a hotel and fly you in the morning to Porto.  And I say… you said choices with an S. And? Um no she says, that was it, your only choice from us… Ok, so plural was not part of it… I guess the 2nd choices are like it or lump it. Got it.

So a bus? 5 hours? really? You want me to sit on a bus with 50 people for 5 hours? Your kidding.  No, she says unapologetically.

Um, I frantically look on my phone for a train to Porto and another airline myself…. It’s too late, and prices were through the roof on a train which doesn’t leave untill the am anyway. 

Other flights? None going to Porto.. Or Madrid tonight…. 

Damn

My bladder is now full from that beer, and my attitude deteriorates. Jorge hasn’t seen the tired, cranky full bladder gonna pee on myself Chiffon. I’m masking my irritation with a fake calm but way too tired and not at all patient like him dealing with idiocy. Jorge looks at me with urgency and says I don’t mind taking a bus. He looks at my deadpan expression of control and says let me go ask again. Ok, you do that I say…

He goes and talks to another person in Spanish in case im wrong…comes back, searching my face before speaking…  Bus or go home. “That’s our choice” he says carefully… ok ok I say…. Breathing deeply, my resolve depleting…Ive put up with worse in my life and surely a bus ride won’t kill me..

So I reluctantly agreed to take the bus as I really want to see Porto. Ok, oK I can deal with it I think go with the flow….hasta manana, hasta manana…. Of course the spanish way….I see other people gathered around and it appears about half the passengers are gone… they must have taken what’s left of us to file into the bus, and they hand us a bag of food to eat;  a sandwich, chips, Twix bar, and water. Funny how they love the American Twix brand of candy here. … we get on settle in, and I notice it’s not a long haul bus as there is no bathroom on it… surely they will stop on the way to Madrid….I really should have peed…. Damn it.

We head out, the driver never stops and it’s raining. I worry about the driver, did he already work a full day before getting called to haul 50 people to Madrid at 7 pm at night?  I can’t sleep….I’m afraid what if he falls asleep driving in the rain? 

Five hours later exhausted and stiff we arrive…and they drop us off at Madrid airport and we are transferred to another bus and taken to a hotel at midnight. The good news is it was a beautiful NH hotel in Madrid. On check-in, they give us a box dinner to take to our rooms. Ok,… the room was beautiful… I open the bar fridge and tap a small bottle of wine…we eat and go to bed and get up 3 hours later for a 6 am flight… we get to the airport and they give us new tickets, off to Porto we went….

Porto was beautiful…..our apartment was lovely with stone walls and wood floors overlooking the Douro river….we take a local bus and ride to the town center…. We have our first coffee and croissant on arrival at a local coffee shop and listen to folks speaking Portuguese around us…My attitude is better, coffee and pastries always help. Im grateful to be here as I do love travel no matter the difficulties of getting here.

It was a fast trip; 2.5 days to run around. It was fabulous. Porto is a very old city with old stone buildings, stone streets, and moss-covered stone steps everywhere with not a flat place to walk. Every walk is uphill as the city was at least  5-10 stories up and down as it is built overlooking the Douro river. Lovely is putting it mildly, but if you don’t have good shoes and some stamina you won’t get far. Oh, and some good eyesight as the steps are uneven often with no railings. An easy place to fall and do damage to yourself. I’m happy to say I never did fall…but I did rehearse what to do if I did….. Just don’t die.

There were many port wineries and very inexpensive local places to dine as well as the more expensive places overlooking the river in many places. It’s lovely lit up at night and of course during the day.

Overall, if you like old places with incredible history and ancient architecture Porto is one city you should visit. It’s also not too big and you can walk everywhere, however, there is one spot you can take a cable car over the city and down from a 15 flight stair walk which will help some for those getting tired of the walking. Ide go back in a second to visit again. But two days flew by fast, and it was time to go.

Going home was a little easier this time until I pissed off the taxi driver. 

Our flight home was late of course. It was 10 pm at night and we had to taxi to Elche as the bus stopped running.

We hailed a taxi and 20 minutes later we arrive near my apartment. As Jorge paid the taxi guy I did two major things wrong: I got out on the street side of the taxi, then I opened the hatch on the back to get our bags out myself. The taxi guy flew out of the car yelling no senora! no! Geeze! I thought I was doing him a favor getting them myself.  But he freaked like he was hiding a body back there or something. I stepped away and the driver jumped back in and drove off. 

Jorge looked upset. What happened? He didn’t give me all the change, he still owes me $20!!!!

It was my fault. I distracted the guy and made him mad by opening his trunk myself.  Jorge was now angry too. Ok I said, I owe you $20 for being stupid.. We walked home in silence. I have no social skills… Jorge calmed down and we agreed that next time I’llll stay in the car and not open the taxi guy’s trunk myself.  Fine fine… I know why they call us the ugly Americans, I just acted like one…. I admit it.

Any way to add insult to injury, the next day I began to feel ill.

I know I often talk about the medical issues here but I keep hoping I’ll be pleasantly surprised and the care will be more…. More something.

Monday at the school I was exhausted and my hips hurt like hell from all the walking on stone in Porto.

I made it through work, got home, and went to bed early. The next day as the day went on I was really feeling sick; body aches, headache fatigue….. By the time I got home I had a fever and my upper back hurt like I had a kidney infection. I had chills and felt like a truck hit me. I emailed a friend who gave me the name of a local clinic near my apartment. I didn’t want to go but I was afraid with chills and back pain I may have had a bladder infection that went to my kidneys. That can be deadly and I knew I needed antibiotics.

Since radiation years ago I can’t feel normal burning pain like another woman if I have a bladder infection so I can’t just get antibiotics unless I know for sure I have a bladder infection. And for that, I needed a pee test.

But Im in Spain now. And I haven’t had a good experience with medical care despite having private insurance. Ive never seen a nurse in any hospital or clinic yet and after four medical visits; not one doctor has gotten vitals on me or listened to my lungs.

So I start taking antibiotics I brought myself from the USA just for bladder infections figuring I´ll-treat myself, I am a nurse damn it and now Im my own doc too.

But I feel so bad I got worried and decided I needed a pee test to check for infection anyway.

I call the local clinic recommended and had an appointment for the next day at 6:30 pm. The person I spoke to in poor Spanish said I need a covid test before coming. ok…. I run downstairs to the local pharmacy and buy a Covid home pregnancy instant test for the am.

I go to bed

The next day I take the test; it was negative. My fever is still hovering from 99 to 101.

It’s pouring rain all day. I go to work in the rain and come home in it. Im cold and feel like shit. I head out at 6 pm to see the dr in the rain.  it looked 5 minutes away per the GPS but as usual, no signs, only a door in an apartment building that matches the address. So I wandered wasting 20 minutes. I look at the mailbox/buzzer. I see a name by the buzzer: “clinic consultants.” What the hell I push it.

Someone buzzes me in, but there is no sign for a medical clinic. I walk up one, then two then three flights of stairs looking for a door with a medical title. I see nothing. I go back down and then up again and finally see another person who points me to another door. It says podiatry on it. Umm I’m not here for a foot appointment unless a foot doc doubles as an internist too… ….I knock, and the door opens with a slow creaky sound…. I see a bare room painted in faded mauve with five plastic 1960 era chairs lining two sides. No desk, no sign, only two doors with a sign “Podologia” on it and a folded yellowing privacy curtain on my right where I assume someone must sit with a patient. I see nothing to indicate a lab to leave a sample of my pee… figures… and of course no nurse.

I hear voices behind a door. Someone is here I think or it’s a ghost. I walk to the window it’s pouring like a muther outside. Now I’m wondering am I in the wrong place?  I turn to walk out thinking maybe Ill check again… I don’t need a foot doctor… then suddenly one of two doors opens, a man leaves and who I assume is the doctor wearing a wrinkled white coat ushers me in… He says my name… Miss Kinney? Yes, I say. Seeing no name on his coat as usual, and no diplomas on the wall. Is he a doctor? He sure as heck wasn’t a dry cleaner from the look of his coat.

I sit at his old wooden desk armed with a bag of my meds as I figure maybe he will want to know what Im on as I can’t speak Spanish and Im too tired to try.

He stutters “I don’t speak englas”…. Ok.. I call Jorge on speaker and he translates.

I tell my story; back pain, fever… the doc sees my medications. He does not check my vital signs or my temperature after I tell him I have a fever. Of course, if you had a damn nurse here maybe you could get some vitals on people! Im starting to think I’ll have to volunteer here to teach em about vital signs.

He then ushers me to another corner of his office to sit on an exam table and low and behold he listens to my lungs and taps my back for kidney pain. This is a first. Is someone who appears to be in a medical coat actually examining me? I note in the corner what looks like an old weird plastic ultrasound machine from Star Trek. I hope he isn’t planning on using that on me Im thinking. 

Of course, there is no nurse anywhere, Im beginning to think a nurse must be an illusion here.

He rattles off a prescription for pain meds and some general antibiotics. Hands me a receipt-like thing and says I’ll need to go to a local lab in the morning for a pee test. And I’ll need to go to a pharmacy and buy the pee cup myself.

Of course, why have any supplies here in this so-called clinic my inside voice says.

It gets better though.

I leave, I see two elderly ladies now sitting in the plastic chairs as I leave, … its pouring and getting dark. I go to my apartment to get something and head to the pharmacy. I walk out and what do I do? I leave my keys in the apartment and lock myself out. Shit shit shit.

The pharmacy will close in 5 minutes. I run out, go there and get the pee cup and fill the drś medication prescriptions he gave me. I text Jorge. He has a spare key but lives in Albatera and there is no bus.

I tell Jorge to take a taxi here I’ll pay for it. It’s cold it’s wet and Im sick. He gladly says he will come God bless him. I turn to go thinking I can wait inside my building till he arrives, but no my keys to the main building door are in my apartment as well… its pouring worse, the wind blows and my dollar chinese store umbrella brakes, snapping in two, and the rain all but drowns me. Im soaked, cold, and pissed at my stupidity, the so-called medical system, and wondered WTF am I doing here? Im starting to think this blog should be named the Only Nurse in Spain.

Luckily there is one open coffee shop, I go in, and the waitress looks at me like sit near the door your dripping on my floor. Fine no tip for you…

I sit, order coffee, and look at the meds the doc ordered researching them on the internet. One is a pain killer which is banned in some countries as it killed 10 British people who took it.  Oh, that’s nice I thought. Nurse dies in hallway of her apartment soaked in the rain taking banned pain killers.   Why couldn’t you have just given me something more universal like hydrocodone? Never mind, I have Tylenol at home if I ever get back in my apartment.

Fortunately, Jorge arrives in 30 minutes, lets me in and I go to bed.

The next day I go to work as my fever is almost gone, but I can’t deliver the pee test myself as the lab is open surprise! At 9 am and closes at one… just in time for a siesta but no good for sick people needing to drop off piss that may have a job.

So Jorge takes it for me to the lab. Since privacy has also not been a requirement here he drops it off and they accept it without verifying it was me that peed in the cup. Oh well.

He calls me to tell me what the lab said: 

They will not, I repeat will not send results to any doctor. It was MY responsibility to come in person and get it and deliver it to the doc myself or email it myself to whoever wanted it. Their responsibility which appears to be near nothing is you bring your own pee cup, they test it then you tell the doc the results.

Im a nurse, not FedEx I say. And Im not paid to give medical results to anyone here. What if Im a layman?

Too bad so sad. Wow. So much for medical liability.

Incredible. I just keep taking my own antibiotics. Screw it.

I can’t imagine being 80 and having to first get your own results then tell the doc the results by email or phone or hand-deliver it. Where is this? Am I on planet earth? The age of the internet and scanners and phones means nothing? But a patient must get the results and call the doc themselves? How many times have I said wtf since I got here? Ive really lost count.

Im on the edge… I swear…

 Oh if you’re wondering if I ever got the results,  It took 4 days, as they lost my email and the results were negative.  Jorge called the doctor and told him the results on my behalf….But then again it could have been someone elseś result….I  don’t trust any of them here.

Oh, those of you wanting to know about my other lab results for the possible myeloma, there still in limbo as pending… Maybe the cleaning lady will get the results on my behalf who knows….

Get your own pee cup they said…

Somewhere in Spain…..