The official definition of Ass backward is doing something in a manner incongruously or preposterously counter to what is customary, probable, or feasible.

Ever get to the gym and see you have your workout shorts on backward?

Or the tag on your shirt is outside and you find out later no one ever told you?

Or you’re wearing two different socks?

That’s me. Getting dressed ass-backward. The good news is, it’s not every day and usually not when it involves work clothes or going out clothes. So,  at least 2/3rd of the time I can dress appropriately instead of incongruously.

And yes this morning I did it. Went to the gym in my black workout shorts inside out. Didn’t know till the end and the good news was my shirt was long enough to cover the faux pau… at least that’s what I hoped.

My excuse if someone noticed?

Woops! got dressed in the dark and all my workout clothes are dark-colored, so I didn’t see the tag. But that would also reveal I don’t fold my clothes outside in.

Who does this besides five-year-olds?

• Someone with dementia? maybe, but usually, that’s when you put on 4 pairs of underwear that are usually right-side in. So that rules me out.
• Maybe it’s from being hung over? Now that could be a thought. With a blinding headache getting dressed on the edge of the bed ready to vomit just might interfere with the ability to see and think clearly. Hence seeing tags really doesn’t take precedence at that moment, not that I would know.
• A need to seek attention. Maybe but I’d say that’s not a way to do it.

Ass backward can mean a lot of things besides noticing your tags are outies instead of innies.

Like my job, working with people whose heads are up their ass not behind it. Like allowing some people to get paid for doing nothing while others work 50 hours a week right out in the open with management saying “Oh they’re just resting.” Um isn’t resting done at home? What kind of ass backward comment is that? Whatever happened to working hard and avoiding getting in trouble with the boss? Um maybe I should roll in at 9 am and then put my feet up and tell the boss, un can’t work today I’m too tired so I’m just here to ride the clock.”

In the old days, you would be shown the door. Now, some fools can do whatever they want whether you’re dressed appropriately or not.

With that thought, I’ll leave it or my blood pressure will start climbing.

Somewhere in Texas

With my tags on inside out,

And I really don’t care.