Occasionally I really want a piece of steak, medium rare and juicy. Even some good ground beef to make spaghetti Bolognese would do if nothing else. I’m not a huge meat eater, but sometimes I just want some good, tasty beef.

But I’m kind of stubborn. I keep trying and I live on hope for way too many things to change.. but that’s for another post. The problem is, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different outcome… in this case; taste.

So, the other day I bought another package of ground beef for spaghetti Bolognese. The meat looked like beef, smelled like beef, was ground up like beef, but had zero taste.  Zero.  It’s not like I lost my taste buds from Covid, I can still taste my wine just fine. But it might as well have been a vegetarian meat substitute. Although that might have had more flavor. No offense to my vegan friends.

Ground beef is such a simple thing. But it means a lot in a dish. I never order hamburgers here but I have been out and tasted other burgers ordered by friends. They too have been a big disappointment and tasteless. So, what’s up?   I don’t know what the issue is. Even the cuts of beef I’ve bought at the better grocery stores and butchers have been the same. Completely flavorless and very tough.

But most say the meat comes from cows in Asturias. The north of Spain. I love Asturias it’s a beautiful part of the country. So, what’s with the cows? What do they eat? Grass only? Or something else?  I mean grass has more flavor than the beef I’ve eaten here.

Recently I tried again. I broke down and ordered a so-called steak (in an expensive restaurant btw) and asked what cut the steak was because it only said “bife” on the menu. I thought ok what is it exactly? i.e. T-bone, strip, ribeye etc, sometimes called entrecot de ternera or solomillo etc. in Spanish.

So I asked the tall thin dark-eyed waiter what kind of cut it was. He just blinked and looked at me glassy-eyed and unemotional. I’m sure he thought here goes another American with dumb questions.

So I asked again via my friend; a full-blooded Spaniard and Jorge who is Argentinian. He has lived his whole life eating meat nearly every day in Argentina. He knew the cuts I asked about very clearly. He also knew to ask what part of the cow it comes from if we had to figure it out ourselves. So, he translated, and I waited.

The waiter looked at us with as much interest as a street cleaner picking up his last crushed beer can on the street at 5am.  All he said was “cow.” Um ok, wtf?  The head, the tail, or the ass I wanted to say just to be bitchy seeing how it was gonna cost 35euros for the steak. I mean, there are lots of parts to the animal. Can you tell me what part is worth 35 euros?

However, to his credit, seeing how this is pork country I’m sure if I asked any questions about Jamon he would know what part of the hog it came from. Just sayin..

So the waiter blinked his eyes again in blind boredom and said he would ask the chef. Ok, I said. But somehow, I knew it would lead to nothing unless this restaurant had had Americans in it before asking the same thing.  I suspected Ide get nowhere.

So off he went. A while later, he slowly sauntered back to say, “bife” and then he pointed to his midsection. Um, ribs? No, he didn’t know. Ok fine, we gave up, ordered the mystery cut and I decided on a fish dish instead. Jorge ordered the steak.

So a while later out it came. It was bloody as hell, not even lukewarm. That would be considered rare as rare can get. But not even seared on the outside to at least hold in the blood running out of it.

Ok then. Jorge tasted it anyway. It was tough and had no flavor, bloody or not. I then tasted it and it was the same. The sad thing is he ordered it medium. But per my friend, it’s not unusual to get a bloody steak even when you order well done. Which is true; it happened to me several times already in the year Ive been here.  I think in the future we need pictures of what medium looks like and parts of the animal with names of the cuts. Maybe flashcards would help. It works with 6-year-olds I teach in the school, but I digress as usual.

So here I am wondering again if I can get a decent steak in the near future. Something tells me no. Several American friends have agreed on the tasteless tough beef here wondering also why that is. My British friends who are not always known for having fabulous food in England, (but say they have good steaks) even agree the meat is not to die for. But it might just make you a vegetarian.

All I know is, if you were on death row and wanted a good steak for your last meal, you would need a pardon to leave and fly to Texas, cause it’s not happening here.

Where’s the beef?

It’s not here, try the fish.

Somewhere in Spain