Can’t I just pick what I want?

Since living here I can’t help but compare things to living in the US once in a while. I can’t help it. But I accept the way things are despite the sharp contrasts. It is what it is. I’m not out to change anything here despite my wish to do so like when I’m frustrated or aggravated, or impatient, but I’m working on that. Besides, you can’t change a culture and should never try. So live and let live… ok. But some things do bother me just a tiny bit.. limited choices.

When you need something, you don’t have the luxury of running out and going to a store where you can price compare, etc., and get something quickly and cheaply.

Before you balk, I know this is not the US. And yes there is Amazon.es but that is another issue as choices are not so good there either in many cases. You often can’t just get the same stuff from the US and if you can, expect high customs costs and triple delivery fees. And to top it off, it may never arrive. Not everything is that easy.

It’s just some days are harder than others. And having the choice of stores and items to shop for is very limited. For example, If I want a screwdriver I have to find a “ferreteria” which is like a hardware store but much smaller and includes a hodgepodge of things from coffee makers to scarves. You may find two kinds of screwdrivers and have to ask for them from behind the counter; limited choices.

Or if you want a humidifier or a microwave, go to an “electro domesticos.” A store that sells things you plugin. But prices are often pretty high like 40 euros for a teapot and there are only two to choose from. That’s near $50 US, ouch. limited choices.

But the biggest thing that gets me is something really simple: If you need anything like band-aids or Tylenol or an enema, you can’t just go and shop and price compare and decide what to buy. Oh no, you must always ask the pharmacist. For everything. I mean, there is no Walmart or Target here. No Walgreens or CVS.  Nothing in grocery stores but food and alcohol. So, I feel cut off from self-directed choices for personal stuff. You know like vitamins, cough syrup, a finger splint when you fall slipping on your own dripping sweat in front of the school because there is no AC in any buildings. But I digress.

Sometimes I’m just tired. There are a million pharmacies here literally on every corner like pee from every dog.  They are all independent, and they are not connected like Walgreens so each one I go into won’t know what I asked for at another unless I was on public health. Which I’m not. I’m on private which covers 0% of meds anyway. So, I’m anonymous as far as they are concerned and no matter what prescription I bring in, they never ask my name or my address like in the states. And they hand the script back to me. So, I can just choose to trot down to another pharmacy and buy the same meds over and over again if I want. No one cares and no one tracks anything. But I have a choice on how many boxes of blood pressure meds I want to buy by going to as many pharmacies as I want. That’s a choice.

But sometimes I just want to shop and leave for over-the-counter things. Pick my own stuff, give me time to read the Spanish labels so I know if I’m buying something banned in another country. Which actually happened. Thank God I read the label on the box the pharmacist gave me when I went home.  I can see the headlines “nurse language auxiliary buys OTC medication banned in four countries, couldn’t read Spanish, dies from lack of understanding.”

But no, I must ask the pharmacist for everything and they give me what they have. Do I get choices? No. Do I get privacy? No, I must open my mouth and say I need something very personal in front of anyone that can understand my crap Spanish. Now I’m a nurse and body stuff is no big deal to me. But broadcasting it to every Pablo, Jesus, and Harry some days makes me weary. And sometimes they sell me something way more expensive than I thought because they don’t have anything else. No choices.

Seriously, somedays I just don’t want to look the pharmacist in the eye again and ask for a laxative. I want to choose and buy my stuff quietly, pay, and leave. Not ask questions or figure out how to say, “I shit my pants” in Spanish and “I need an anti-diarrheal.” Or hey you know this weather? I’m constipated again. And yall remember the debacle when I had to buy my own pee cup, I’m not going there today.  But I mean what must they think? Here comes the American again; let’s take bets; is it shit, pee, or a legitimate medication issue? Winner gets dinner at 10 pm.

In all honesty, this gig is great, I won’t lie, but it’s got serious issues too. When researching if Ide leave my good job and health insurance to do this, I read everything. There wasn’t much for the older language auxiliaries out there. They barely ever talked about this side of living here. On the Facebook blogs and websites, it’s all about “teach English in Spain to kids: travel all over and lay on a beach in Ibiza. It’s all roses.

Almost nothing mentioned bringing your own laxatives. Then again, most auxes are younger or are university grads wanting a gap year. They are not old enough yet to need enemas, pain killers, glaucoma drops, or Depends. Just kidding I’m not that old. Well, yes, I am.

So, I jump to different pharmacies, no need to embarrass myself more than once by staying at one location. If I wait long enough between visits to rotating pharmacies then maybe, they won’t remember me as the one that needs an enema and a finger splint.

Even things that are not embarrassing you must ask for. Like a thermometer. How do I know they aren’t selling me a rectal one? I don’t because I have to take what they give me. Like when I was sick, I needed to take my temperature as I couldn’t find the thermometer I brought with me. I was so sick and too tired to translate the Spanish outside of the box so I stuck it under my tongue without looking at it. Sure enough, it wouldn’t register. wtf? Then I realized the problem. The wrong end. Butt thermometers don’t work in the mouth. No shit sherlock. And their non-refundable of course.

I was so sick I didn’t have much energy and in my delirium, I considered how to use the butt end myself. I mean is that possible anyway? In hindsight, no pun intended, I could have asked Jorge to do it. He did call me to see if I needed anything. But really, that’s not part of our contract. If I was in a coma ok, but if I’m alive and I’m not bending over. And after having ass cancer nothing goes up there. And I mean nothing. So I dragged myself back to a different pharmacy. This time I looked at the package.

Or when I need eye drops for my chronic dry eyes. I had to ask one day for them and practicing Spanish I said “gotas sin preservativos, por favor.” Apparently, I asked for drops with no condoms. The pharmacist looked at me with wide eyes, and an older man behind me snorted.

As a nurse in the states, you’re trained never to act surprised or shocked when you see or hear something medically off the chart. One must always stay stone-faced or it upsets the patient.  But this is an emotional country, show your shock and awe anywhere, anytime. Thanks for that. But on the other hand, I now know preservatives are “conservantos.” I’m skipping that pharmacy next. If I could have picked them myself off the shelf maybe ide be spared the snorting. No choices.

But overall, pharmacists are actually well regarded here. They will give you meds based on your symptoms even without a doctor’s script in some cases. Hey if your coughing and have a fever, they give you meds and try to help you. I actually got powdered codeine with vitamin C one time for severe cough. That was cool. Codeine would never have been a choice in the US. Great choice. Thanks, pharmacist. No more cough.

If you hurt your wrist, they will measure you for a soft brace. If your legs swell, they will give you compression stockings. In that regard, they do more than some in the US. But can’t they just stock a few brands of the general stuff so I can pick and choose myself?  

Some days I’m just tired. I’m 59 years old and after walking 5 miles on brick and stone streets and practicing English to 400 yelling kids, I get a little cranky and want to just buy what I want and go home. Please can’t Walmart or Target come here? Burger King and Mcdonald’s have. But, of course, that’s not the same.

Nothing is the same.

That’s the point.

Check your thermometer.

Don’t bend over for anyone.

Somewhere in Spain